Category Archives: Condiments

Mulled Balsamic Vinaigrette Recipe

Fact: wine comes from grapes.

Fact: balsamic vinegar comes from grapes.

Fact: mulled wine is delicious.

ERGO, megafact: mulled balsamic vinegar–and therefore, mulled balsamic vinaigrette–is also super, super scrumptious. It won’t get you nice and toasty (in more ways than one) like warm spiced wine, but it’s so, so perfect for your fall salad. Wine later, salad now.

Such as this one! Look. Roasted pumpkin wedges with toasted hazelnuts and greens. We like, yes? Let’s top it all with a tangy, spiced dressing. Eat your delightful fall meal, live happily ever after (not that I would ever tell you what to do).

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Super Bowl Roundup

Because everyone agrees the food is the best part of this, right?

Suggestions for party guests:

1) Bacon-Jalapeno Jam. Double the recipe (trust me!), bring a baguette, become an instant hero.

2) Buttermilk ranch, completely from scratch. Also impressive!  Your favorite wings need a sidekick.

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Check it out!  I made harissa, and I can’t stop myself.  A dollop atop my eggs.  Slathered on sandwiches.  I may even have a pizza situation happening.  I would say it’s my new Sriracha/Valentina/Cholula, but we know that isn’t true.  There are people who can’t have enough spicy condiments around, and I am one of them.  Hi there.

Harissa hails from North Africa, and although I’m clearly just using it as a condiment at the moment, it’s also used as a flavor base for soups, stews and meat dishes.  I’ll utilize it properly at some point.

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Green Goddess Dip

I imagine this is ranch dip after it has had a good talking-to from RuPaul.  ”No no no NO.  You get out of that plastic Dixie cup; you are too fabulous for this.  Get yourself some fresh herbs–all the herbs–and anchovies.  You heard me!  Now go werk.

I have never seen her show.  Is it obvious?  Should I do something about that?

It’s the “goddess” part.  It sparks the ol’ imagination.

Anyway, green goddess dressing was REALLY created in San Francisco in the 1920s to honor the actor  George Arliss and his play, which happened to be called…  The Green Goddess.

Still, it’s really fantastic: lots of green, fresh herbs, plus anchovy, for savory depth.  It’s a multidimensional showoff.

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Oreo Spread

I don’t even know what to say about this.  Except…  Except… Except!  Remember that Seinfeld episode in which Kramer hounded Calvin Klein to make a cologne that smells like the beach?

Yeah.  I might have to quit my job to do that, full-time, at Oreo HQ.  They must make this!  I will not be ignored.  I’m already working on flailing myself through doorways.  And this:

…At least in my head.  I don’t smoke.

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Homemade Buttermilk Ranch (Made from Homemade Mayonnaise)

Is Lent a good time to write a love letter to one’s vices? …  I’ll take that as a “maybe,” which works, because one of mine happens to be being inappropriate.  So here we go.

–Intervention marathons on Netflix for HOURS (time isn’t wasted if you’re knitting, too).  I love you.  Thanks for all the fun facts about drugs.
–Teen Mom.  Teenagers?  Bad decisions and even worse attitudes?  Sleveless AND sideless t-shirts?  Sold.  Sold so much.
–Jersey Shore.  30something-year-olds?  Bad decisions and even worse attitudes?  Sold again.  So hard.
–Buffalo hot sauce, you’re the most beautiful neon-colored preservative sludge I’ve ever seen.  Buffalo sauce, don’t ever change (unless the FDA tells you to).

Speaking of preservative-laden goopy things: Do you like ranch?  I enjoy it occasionally, mostly with equally terrible fried things (especially if there’s also buffalo sauce).  So, this is a science project.  We’re demystifying this stuff, by making it entirely from things that, though not quiiiite healthy, are at least recognizably food.  This is the kind of ranch you could give to Michael Pollan as a gift.

Also, as if that weren’t good enough news, it’s SO DELICIOUS!

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